In this post, I'm not referring to my physical child. I am referring to the child inside me...inside each of us..the younger version of myself..the little girl who lives in my heart.
Exploring...
How can I distinguish her? What are her needs? What does she like? What makes her happy? How is she feeling right now? Can I hear her? What is she trying to tell me?
Do I know? Do you know?
What's Worked...
Over the years I have learned different ways to connect with this child: I have written with my non-dominant hand to have a dialogue with this little girl, I have made commitments to her, I have looked at her eyes in the mirror.
Message from Spirit
At this point in my journey, it feels like something different is required. Something that I haven't been able to provide before, to this inner aspect of me.
As I think about what is needed, I look around the coffee shop and see: "Never leave child unattended in chair"... says the sign on the high chair. "Never leave child unattended....."
No mistake. Reading my reality. A message from Spirit? Trying to tell me and the Exploring Motherhood world something?
Is my child unattended?
I would say yes. I am busy with other things! Busy trying to make a living, keep a household, contribute to society. But, when I look in my heart to see what is there, I feel pain. (First I notice avoidance and then I feel pain.) I have not been attending to my heart!
I have not been listening to what is needed! I have forgotten the inner most part of me!
In the midst of life, I forgot to provide the deep love and nurturance for myself that is needed...to FEED me. For many understandable reasons, I have drifted away from Mothering Myself in a way that provides unconditional love, support, encouragement, attention, adoration, and belief! I have inherited a very human skill of being the Critical Mother to myself, but as for being the Nurturing Mother....that is something I continue to struggle with and work on continually!
Mothering Ourselves
Are our 'collective' inner children unattended? Does they know we are there? Are they waiting to be seen and rescued?
I offer some things to contemplate.
- How can we practice paying more attention to our insides?
- How can we nurture our hearts?
- How can we feed ourselves love and appreciation?
Generate Love and Acceptance
For me, part of self-care is valuing the most valuable aspect of myself - my heart - by listening to what is says and listening to what it wants. And part of mothering myself is being the wise mother who knows when to say "yes" and when to say "no". Pay attention to my self. Generate acceptance for who I am in this moment. Be kind and loving to me, my heart, my child.
As I mother myself, I also mother my son.
Part of exploring how I Mother Myself is exploring how it relates to how I mother my son.
Kids, all kids, want nothing more than the love, attention, and acceptance of their parents.
I saw it in my son's face at preschool this morning as I joined in for an hour of "Circle Time" singing songs and doing body movements with his class. I saw how happy and proud Noah was to have his mom paying attention to him - his world and his friends.
In that moment, my son knew that he mattered. He was being "attended to" and his heart was happy.
Perhaps that is all it takes for me as I practice generating more love and acceptance for myself...as I train in this lifelong practice of Mothering Myself.
more to come...
