I write this as I am listening to a CD series called Warming the Stone Child: Myths and Stories about Abandonment and the Unmothered Child, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.
Self-Mothering
I have a passion for exploring motherhood...not only mothering our children, but also Mothering Ourselves. From what I can tell from my experience, one is intricately linked with the other.
Although I have been on this Journey of Motherhood for only five years, I have been Journeying Mothering Myself for quite some time. Years ago I became aware of the "child" inside me who was "running the show". I also became aware of my "teenage" tendency to strive for achievement and success above and beyond anything else. Hence, 12 years in a Corporate Profession of following the parental corporate lead, pleasing, do-gooding, and rising in the ranks.
Although the awareness is there, there are more times than not that the practice of self-mothering these younger aspects alludes me. The Negative Voices, the Pressure, the Rules, the Judgment, the Seduction of the Collective's Story of Success...are all very powerful forces that nag and persuade me daily.
And so I continue to contemplate...
Where is the Mother in this system? Where is the internal Mother who watches after these younger aspects of myself? "Where is she?" "Who is she?" And, most importantly..."How do I grow this Mother aspect of me?"
Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, "In order to grow the internal mother you have to be willing to be decent and good to your self."
AHHHH. How many of us mothers out there are being decent and good to our selves??? How many of us can say that we treat ourselves with kindness and respect? Not new information, but hearing it again (for me) and seeing it in black and white (for you), hopefully, will help to solidify the point. Read it again.
"In order to grow the internal mother you have to be willing to be decent and good to your self."
She goes on to say, "The more you are willing to accept self love, self respect....caring about all the things that you are...that's what develops the internal mother."
"You have to be willing to accept your own love."
Pray, Pray, Pray
With all of your heart, Pray for Willingness. Pray for Resources. Pray for Guidance. Pray for the Words. Pray for the Role Models. Pray for the Energy. Pray for the Ability. And Pray for the Love.
And also, Pray for the opportunity to be decent and good to others. Pray to practice caring for others with great devotion, honor and respect. And, as you do, you'll be practicing to be a good Mother to you too.
Showing posts with label A Mother's Contemplation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A Mother's Contemplation. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Contemplation for the Day
"How many times have I...."
You fill in the blank.
Tonight as I was upstairs getting Noah's pj's and Pull-ups....I did a usual routine of wetting a washcloth for what we have commonly come to call a "Washcloth Bath".
(Definition of Terms: Bath = normal tub routine; SplashBath = in the tub, but no plugging the tub....consists of running water, soap, and washcloth; Washcloth Bath = Noah's favorite because it doesn't involve physically getting into the tub...consists only of a wet washcloth to clean the 'really dirty' areas.)
As I wet the washcloth in the "really-needs-to-be-cleaned" sink, I had this deja vu feeling that I have done this before.....many times before. How many times have I wet a washcloth? A simple contemplative question, but rather profound.
Hmmm. Let's see. Every morning I wet a wash cloth to clean his little bottom (overnight potty training has not been a completed project as of yet). That equals 7 days a week, times 52 weeks in the year, for about three years since the fall-a-way of wipes. Add to that an average of 3 nights a week of washcloth baths over the course of 52 weeks in a year, over about 4 years...equals approximately:
That's a lot of washcloth wetting!
As a mother, we could add up any number of repetitive activities from wiping noses to washing bedsheets (that's a biggie for me since the Pullups don't seem to hold a Noah-size bladder) to pouring cereal. And we could laugh, pout, scream, cry, or smile in the process. Depends on the activity? Depends on the time of day/month/year? Depends on our mood?
Something else to contemplate for another time...
You fill in the blank.
Tonight as I was upstairs getting Noah's pj's and Pull-ups....I did a usual routine of wetting a washcloth for what we have commonly come to call a "Washcloth Bath".
(Definition of Terms: Bath = normal tub routine; SplashBath = in the tub, but no plugging the tub....consists of running water, soap, and washcloth; Washcloth Bath = Noah's favorite because it doesn't involve physically getting into the tub...consists only of a wet washcloth to clean the 'really dirty' areas.)
As I wet the washcloth in the "really-needs-to-be-cleaned" sink, I had this deja vu feeling that I have done this before.....many times before. How many times have I wet a washcloth? A simple contemplative question, but rather profound.
Hmmm. Let's see. Every morning I wet a wash cloth to clean his little bottom (overnight potty training has not been a completed project as of yet). That equals 7 days a week, times 52 weeks in the year, for about three years since the fall-a-way of wipes. Add to that an average of 3 nights a week of washcloth baths over the course of 52 weeks in a year, over about 4 years...equals approximately:
1,716 Times I've WET THE WASHCLOTH!!!
That's a lot of washcloth wetting!
As a mother, we could add up any number of repetitive activities from wiping noses to washing bedsheets (that's a biggie for me since the Pullups don't seem to hold a Noah-size bladder) to pouring cereal. And we could laugh, pout, scream, cry, or smile in the process. Depends on the activity? Depends on the time of day/month/year? Depends on our mood?
Something else to contemplate for another time...
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